As time slowly marches on I'd like to share a recent visit with my mom. It was not only heartwarming, but heart wrenching. Reflecting on her current situation, I long to be with her more and provide more of her care to make sure her days are comfortable and full of love. Blind, due to strokes she experienced two years ago, Mama has been a really good sport living in a nursing home. We have employed caregivers and now are blessed with the aid of Hospice. Thank goodness many loving souls are surrounding her and helping with her needs.
However, as I look into those eyes that seldom see me, it's just plain sad. It's sad that she doesn't remember readily events I call to her attention; places she has visited, people who have recently visited, comments she has previously spoken that were filled with humor or what she was served for a meal a couple of hours previously. But when I speak of Jesus, the hymns of old and lessons we have learned from the Bible, she's right on the mark. You see, Mama loves Jesus. She is so ready to meet Him and gain access through those pearly gates and take up residence in that mansion He has so diligently been preparing for her. Those thoughts bring a smile to her face and an anxiousness that makes it a bit easier to desire that journey for her, but will fill our hearts with grief and sadness.
Oddly enough, since my mom and I have shared a close connection throughout my entire life, on those days I need her and long for her advice, God gives her clarity of mind to give me support and encouragement. It's as if the curtain of dementia is rolled back and Mama surfaces to spread words of wisdom and hope. To God be the glory for granting me those glimpses.
Mama's hands have held mine many times. They have swept my porches when she would visit, changed diapers when the kids were babies, cooked my favorite foods, washed our clothes, dusted furniture, cheered us on at every turn and given warm hugs that are still available even in her weakened condition. And those are things she has done just since I married and moved away from home. I can still recall us on our knees in the bathroom when I would accidentally drop one of my hard contact lenses. They were so expensive at the time and I only had one pair. Mama would pray as we carefully crawled around seeking that one lost contact. Ironically, we found that little sucker every time and mama gave all the credit to the Lord!
Yes, Mama's hands have been a great source of comfort and this past weekend she just wanted to sit outside and breathe in the fresh air, feel the warmth of the sun and hold my hand and my husband's as we were seated on each side of her. Just to feel the touch of a loved one even though she couldn't see us filled her with joy. (Of course, milkshakes, hot dogs, hamburgers and coconut shrimp bring her joy as well, but the nursing home doesn't readily serve those items!)
Well, that's about all I have to share today. I pray one day when my hands look like my Mama's, they will tell a story about love, compassion, good deeds and show traces of how they were used for God's glory.
Blessings, my friends!